Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Pathological Liars

Pathological Liars

How they have affected my life.....

I have lived my whole life around Pathological Liars. I have known a few to be very close to me at one point in my life, and have also known a few to be temporary acquaintances.

For those who do not know the full depth meaning of a Pathological Liar... A Pathological Liar is someone who compulsively tells lies or fabricates information. They believe the lies they tell others and tell them to provide themselves with attention or personal gain.

To spot a Pathological Liar, look for frequent inconsistencies in their stories and watch for subtle changes in their body language. (Ex: excessive eye contact).

So, like I said before, I have known a few throughout my life. It's been difficult to open up to people as I move on and move to different towns. I feel like as I get closer to certain people, I observe and realize they aren't who they say they are. I am the type of person, when sitting in a crowd of people, will sit and listen to conversations around me and not interact much (which makes me the "shy" one), but I find myself not always listening to enjoy the conversation, but to hear the inconsistencies and pinpoint the lies within the conversation. :(

The reason I have decided to finally speak about Pathological Liars is because I lived with one for my childhood and when he left he never stayed away long enough for me to heal. He used to call them "White Lies", but I knew better at a young age because my mother always taught me that "White Lies" are not meant to hurt, they are meant to hide surprises --> like Christmas Gifts for example. I would catch him in lies then and I still do now. He is no longer apart of me anymore.

I recently met an acquaintance whom I thought I could become very close friends with, but unfortunately the more I got to know them, the more stories I hear, and the more lies I catch them in, the more it drives me further away and less social with them.

No matter how much these people try to hurt me and interfere with my life and family, the more I feel pity for them. They are so far in their lies that they believe their own crap and will do anything to make it true as they see it.

One thing they will never do to me or my family again, is get too close and hurt us. That being said, I will not let them control my life anymore or make me afraid to call them out on their bullshit. The only reason why I have not fully let go of one particular person in my life is because they are associated with people I care about and I worry about the people I care about very much to let them get hurt again.

To anyone who has ever been a victim of Pathological Liars.....Call them out on it....don't let them run you like their lies have been running them!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Depression- From Independent to Dependent

For years I focused on how I was going to become stronger and more independent in many aspects of my life. It made me focus on getting to where I wanted to be at this point in my life now. The only problem is that I did so much to become Independent, that I forgot what it was like to let people in and help when help was needed. Two years ago I ended up with a serious injury from my most amazing career.... Personal Support Worker.

I continued to work for as long as I could, and for as long as my doctor would allow me to. The more tests I endured and the more people I had to rely on for answers, made me feel so much more dependent than I ever wanted to be. I had to rely on people to drive me in my vehicle to appointments, help me when I was so drugged up on pain medication that I didn't even know who my son was, and most of all I needed to rely on my husband to support our son and I. I HATED IT!!

I was the bread winner for so many years that I hated the fact that I had to depend on someone else to take the reins. Over the last couple of years, the more independence I lose, the more depressed and closed off I become. I have tried so many options to make money from home and to keep myself busy as I become stronger physically, but it's just not filling the empty gap I have now.

I am a person who has always had a big heart, and helped those who needed me the most, now I sit at home, worrying about finances and worrying about what my husband and children think of me, constantly. Depression is setting in, and it took a good friend of ours to point it out. When I lost my independence, I lost a part of myself. Writing blogs and talking with good friends, helps me stay focused on the end goal.....showing people who think they are alone that they aren't, and guiding them in a new direction in their lives.

As i focus more and more on myself, getting healthier, exercising to help with the chronic pain, and being the best Mommy and Wife I could possibly be, I focus on becoming the woman I once was and doing what I love most. I am now a Paraprofessional! I am a Personal Support Worker as well as an Addictions Counselor, all because I had the guidance and the right people to push me to do what I was meant to do......Help people who wanted to be helped.

The more I remember my purpose in life and what makes me the happiest when I am at my lowest, the more I can focus on who I really am and be the happy woman I once was. It has been two years since my injury, and not a day goes by that I don't think about it and how it has affected me mentally, physically, and emotionally, but I have begun to stop letting it CONTROL me!! Don't get me wrong..... I am still very emotional when it comes to our finances, and I am still a person to nag if something isn't done to my liking..... but if I didn't do any of these......I wouldn't be me and my husband might think I've totally gone crazy lol! :D

My independence is coming back, just not the way I wanted it to, but I need to keep learning to accept my new path in life. Just because I am physically disabled, does not mean that I need to be totally dependent on people. I can do what I do best, whether it be sitting at my computer writing all day, sitting in my front room talking to people who need guidance, or just chatting on the phone with someone who is in a rough place.......I can help the ones who need it most by just listening, or sharing my stories too.

No one is perfect in this world, and no one ever will be! Just remember that no matter how alone you feel in this great big world......There are millions just like you....millions who think they are alone and won't speak up about their mental health, addictions, and/or physical health issues because they don't want to be judged or stigmatized for being "ill". But think of it this way..... The more people who speak up and out about their issues in this society today..... the more people will understand that they are not alone, and that the help is really out there, and the ones who stigmatize and judge, may eventually see that just because we have an illness does not mean we are broken....it just means we need to be understood and to not be treated any differently than the next guy.

Keep your chins up and don't ever hesitate to ask questions to our paraprofessionals or even to the ones writing the blogs.....they have experience too.....not everyone needs a degree to understand what its like to be ill.
Have a fantastic Tuesday Y'all :D

Thursday, November 3, 2016

We Can All Use Some Guidance

Unfortunately, too many people suffer from mental health and addiction issues because they do not know where to turn to get the proper help and information to which will guide them through their tough time. I am one of the paraprofessionals involved with this group and I am very proud to be providing as much of my knowledge and understanding, as well as my many experiences, with Mental Health, Addiction, and Health Care.

We are not here to tell you what to do with your life, nor are we here to fix everything, but we are here to guide and support you through this journey, and help you better understand what is going on with you and/or people around you. The more knowledge you get by picking up a book and reading it, looking on the ‘inter web’ (credible sites we will provide), and/or sitting down one-on-one while sharing your story, the better you will understand what is happening to you and/or people around you. 

Just because we are professionals, does not mean we have not been through anything in our lives. I was asked to join this team because, yes I have schooling, but I also have had a mental health issues in the past, as well as lived with people who have had addiction issues. No one is perfect in this world, but because of the life I once lived, I took that knowledge and I expanded on it by going back to school to further educate myself on the subjects I once struggled with. I also read blogs, websites, journals, books, etc.

I talk to people who have had the same issues, by comparing our struggles…… BUT also our successes!! I am fascinated with health care and all it has to offer…… people just need to know where to look !! It feels good knowing that I’m not the only one out there that has been through struggles because now we can understand and heal together!!!